google knows

This is just too funny to pass by. Some of you got tired of waiting my translation, and put Google on the case. The resulting text is sort of understandable, and you you can figure out at most of the context (even though some sentences come out as total opposites)*.

*No, we don't have a "domestic elk farm" in our backyard in case you were wondering. And yes, people in Europe smoke too much. Plus, in the comment section, Google translates my name as "callan".

The translation of the vacuum cleaner rant** really got me. Here's the Google version (I translated the few Finnish words left in the text that Google didn't understand):

"6. Horrid vacuums. These weighty, inconvenient and obtrusive machines, which are all in addition to the planned inoperative. Vacuum cleaner is the bottom for some strange reason, the light which is intended to enlighten apparently the floor. [Snip]"

I guess this answers all my questions about the horrid design of American vacuum cleaners. This enlightenment business explains why these machines weigh a ton, spew most of the dust back into the air, and why the cord gets wrapped around me all the time. I am still left wondering: can I ask spiritual advice from my floor when I am done cleaning?

**I am not the only Finn hating these machines. Most of the Finnish comments complain how bad US vacuums are.